An Unwanted Distraction
by Blue Mage Quartet
Summary: *Oneshot, Complete* Tails flinched as spittle and small bits of flaky potato soared through the air, “I have a hunch…”


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An Unwanted Distraction

**AN: A Tails and Amy humor/friendship oneshot based on the similarities between these two and the interactions the characters Matthew and Serra from Fire Emblem have. I don't own either listed above, and hope you enjoy!**

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"Think happy thoughts. Take deep breaths. Come on, Tails, you can do this." The two tailed fox muttered to himself as he approached the door to his workshop. At the three polite knocks that had caught his attention, he had descended down the stairs. It had become something a routine for the past week, letting it- her- into his house.

Sonic had decided, on a whim, to spend some alone time on vacation. Of course, to Amy that practically meant the end of the world. However, instead of going through the normal weepy moaning routine that she whenever Sonic wasn't within arms reach, she had set her eyes on a new target.

Thusly, Amy had decided to "grace" Tails with her company for the past few days. She would pretty much barge in the front door and start talking immediately, her mouth running nonstop until the door mercifully closed behind her. Tails normally never got a word in edgewise, thus having to listen to her monologue on the latest fashion tips, what Sonic was doing without her, Rouge's sluttish tendencies, what Sonic couldn't _possibly_ be doing without her there, her evenings with Cream, and what Sonic BETTER NOT be doing without her lest he want to keep his cranium free of lumps.

"It's just Amy. She's not the follower of some dark, evil god. She's just a stalker type who happens to lug around a hammer," Tails shuddered at the thought of what she could do with it. "Where is Sonic when you need him? Some friend he is, dumping Amy on me."

"She could've gone to visit Shadow, I mean, he _looks _like Sonic," Tails gestured to a potted plant on a stool that was near the door. The plant sat there rather stoically. "Both you and I know that's more than enough to hold her attention if you're a male hedgehog. She was dumb enough to mistake _Silver _for Sonic, even. Why couldn't she bother them?" The young mechanic had cast a pleading glance towards the plant, as if begging it to silence that pink nuisance that was waiting outside. Unfortunately, he was met with silence from the flora.

"Tails, what are you doing?" The fox nearly jumped as he saw one of Amy's green eyes peer through the window on his door, "Let me in!"

Swinging the door open wide for her, Tails greeted Amy with the best fake smile he could manage, and ushered her in. "You were talking to that plant again, weren't you?" Amy exclaimed, her tone rather accusatory.

Tails grumbled under his breath as Amy plopped down on his couch, "At least the plant listens to me…" The pink hedgehog, of course, was oblivious to his statement and launched into her conversation.

"So, I called Sonic at the beach hotel he is staying at, to check up on him, you know?" Amy started, rummaging through a bag of potato chips she had brought with her. Stuffing some in her mouth, Amy munched on them loudly. Tails had a nice view of soggy potato chips as crumbs flew out of her mouth at him, some falling in between the cushions on his couch. Tails' eye twitched as he flicked the crumbs off of his shoulder. Sitting down across from her as Amy continued, Tails watched her rather warily.

Her green eyes narrowed as she spoke again, "You'll never believe how MEAN he was to me!"

The two tailed fox replied, "Really? I can't imagine why."

Amy nodded enthusiastically, believing Tails would actually care, "So, I asked him, 'Do you want to go on a date with me when you get back?', because you know he'll eventually give in to me because I'm so sexy (Tails nearly fell off his chair at this statement). But, you know what he said back to me? Can you guess?" Amy inquired, her eyes searching as she stuffed more fattening chips in her mouth.

Tails flinched as spittle and small bits of flaky potato soared through the air, "I have a hunch…"

"He didn't SAY anything!" Amy said indignantly, "He just ignored me and hung up! Can you believe it?"

"And you are so very, very difficult to ignore…"

Amy dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief, blowing into it before throwing it aside. Tails eyed it disdainfully as it landed on his floor. "Of course! You are seriously the only one who can understand how much hurt I am feeling right now!" Amy sniffled as tears appeared in the corners of her eyes.

"I don't think anyone could understand…" The pilot fox muttered with a hint of sarcasm, but Amy missed it.

Amy lay down across the couch, staring at the ceiling. "Why is Sonic so mean to us? We go out there every day to help him fight in battles, we risk our lives for him!"

"Wow, you actually have a point there," Tails remarked, crossing his arms, "I've asked him for something many times, but he kind of ignores it."

The pink stalker suddenly sat up, attentive, "What did you ask him for, Tails? Pilot goggles? Did you want a pair of new shoes? Or were you after money?"

"Er…" Tails started, his cheeks glowing with a faint tinge of pink. "I told him that… there was a recent distraction… a rather loud and obnoxious distraction that can get rather violent… and this distraction is making it hard to work or concentrate… and that this distraction should go away and leave me alone…" Tails finished quietly.

Amy jumped up and down excitedly. She leaped off the couch, smoothing her crumbly red and white dress. "I _totally _understand what you mean! Sonic just doesn't understand us at all. We should complain to him together!" The pink girl rushed out of the workshop, indicating for the kid to follow her.

Tails sat there, a stunned look on his face. "My god… how thick can she be?"

"Come on, Tails!" Amy called from a distance, "You have to come with me and bother him, too!"

Tails sighed as he stood up, preparing to tag along after her, "She's not a bad person… if only she would just… shut… up…"

"Tails, will you hurry up!"

"Don't worry, I'm coming!" Tails yelled back to her. Closing his eyes as he followed the annoying pink hedgehog out the door, he sighed mournfully, desperately wishing that this was the kind of fairy tale where the hero actually got the girl, considered all her pros and cons, and locked her far away in a dungeon instead of dumping her on the sidekick, "…Save me…"

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**Constructive criticism and such is greatly appreciated, as are reviews! Thanks for reading!**


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